Breaking Through Stress!

So a few of my subscribers and readers and facebook friends have been wondering where the hell I have been.  I have bee stressing! I have been in a little hole I dug for myself and burried myself in it.  I know everyone has their way of coping with stress. My way of coping is shutting myself out of the world.  I literally stop talking, stop interacting, and just think and think and think all to myself.  I know to some this is not the way to go. To some, talking with others about their life problems is the best way to go. For me it is not.  I dont always wish to tell my life problems because I rather help myself figure out my own problems and come up with my own solutions. It makes me stronger as an individual.

I have a phase, a routine I go through. When I'm feeling down in the gutter, I cry me a river, I let it all out until I can't cry anymore and then I feel a lot better. After I've cried my river, I begin to build a bridge, strong enough to walk over. Once my bridge is built I get over it and move on. Sometimes I build weak bridges that only allow me to take a few steps forward when I'm already falling through the cracks and having to start back at one. In the end, it shows me patience and only gives me the strenght to build a stronger bridge, one that I wont have to start all over at.

I have been going through so much this past month. I had my mom move in, which I love! I hadn't realize how much I needed her till she was home with me. I feel so good having her around. For one, I'm not alone anymore and second, she's not alone. Its nice to have someone to talk to when you come home from work or school. I dont have such a lonely quiet house anymore.

Today, I just got the keys to my 2nd bedroom apartment. Which means I have to now move all over again! I'm feeling so much better already. I know this all requires action and movement and therefore I have no time to be all stressed and burried underneath all my blankets in my dark cave room! lol. I am super excited. The apartment we are moving to is super nice, it's been remodeled so theres lots of upgrades involved which I'm extremely excited for cuz my current apartment feel so beat up and old :(

Anyway, I'm excited for the start of the week! I will be taking pictures of my new place later today after work and will show you all before and after pictures of the new place.

Only thing I wont do this time around is paint the walls. Finding a contractor to paint everything back to normal was a pain the ass and let me tell you, some of these poeple will try and rip you off! Tell me why I was able to work down a contractor from $725 dollars to just $320 bucks! I'm telling you, some men just try and rip off women because they feel we're so poor and indefenseless and what do we know right? Well I know how to work a man from $725 down to $320 that's what I know, the hell if I was gonna pay almost a grand to have my apartment painted, yea right! I ddin't even pay $200 to have it painted myself!

Anyway, that is the reason why I have not been making any videos on YouTube or been posting any blogs. Mind you, I think I have about 3 drafts that have yet to be post those once their complete. I did a Vlog video about why I havn't been posting any videos as well, discussing how I have been feeling and I dont know if I'll post it or not, but if I do, I'll probably attach the video here later.

Hope everyone has a great week!
xoxo
Mayra

The Tree

I have been feeling like blah lately but today was such a wonderful day and I actually felt like taking pictures.  I only take pictures and make videos when I'm in the mood because otherwise none of them come out any good and I feel as though how I feel truly comes through my videos and pictures.  I find taking pictures and making videos is another form of therapy for me.

 I have to find a location that is nice, soothing, and that I enjoy the scenery so I capture that in my pictures other than my living room. Plus, I'm working on painting my apartment back to it's original condition and therefore been stressing out on finding a contractor cuz my manager is being such a douche about it. She wants a licensed contractor to do it so I been stressing about that because these guys really wanna gaffle me. I have been helping my mother move in, and even packing my own things becuase I'm moving to a 2 bedroom by the end of the month so packing ahead of time is a big help.

Anyway....cuz i'm getting way off point...(like I normally do in my videos)

There are so many wonderful places to take pictures at the Winery. On my lunch breaks I gather ideas and find a spot. On the way to the park today, I found a few more places I will be taking pictures at for an upcoming "photo shoot". There are parts in the vineyards that are in full autumn transition. It's so beautiful. The leaves on the vines are so many beautiful colors! I can't wait to capture some pictures and share before the vines completely dry off and the leaves begin to fall off their vines.

Today I chose to take pictures on the tree at the park we have on grounds. It's a perfect place to sit back, relax, and meditate and listen to the wind gush through the vines and leaves, through the branches of the trees and then brush up against your skin and through your hair. I love the smell of wet earth, specially after a first rain. It's so soothing and reminds me of times I went to visit my "ama y pa" (grandparents) in Mexico .

When I first came out to the Park 4 years ago, I fell inlove with the tree and knew I'd love tot ake pictures on it one day. I can't wait to do more black and white photography with this tree,  specially now and when Fall transitions into Winter. The branches will be brittle and naked and all that will show is the skeleton of the tree and it will be so beautiful.  

Next semester, I will take a photography class. I feel I have an eye for photography, and it's not just about taking a picture and looking pretty but actually capturing a moment in time, and capturing and making art through photographs.   I also want to take a class because I'd like to know more about the development of photographs and how images are captured. I think it's so wonderful and one of the greatest inventions ever! :)

I hope you all enjoy this post. I know lots of my viewers really enjoy the photographs at the end of my videos so I will try and deliver more artsy pics which I love anyway :)

Have a great week!

xoxo

Mayra

What I'm Wearing:

DC Long Sleeve V Neck Sweater
Polka Dot Short Sleeve Scoop Top
Jeans - Torrid
Black Soda Flats w/Zipper Detailing
Neutral DuoTone Scarf - JCP

Accessories (Avon):

Gold Toned Key to My Heart Pendant Necklace

Faux Pearl Earrings

Antiqued Watch

Transitioning

I first created this blog in conjuction with my YouTube Channel. I really enjoy writing and figured I'd create a blog where I can talk about my outfits and post still pictures of my outfits as well.  My life doesn't revolve around Fashion as many of the bloggers I enjoy reading and following.  Although dressing nice and looking cute, buying nice clothes and acessories is something I love, it's not something my world revolves around. I'm not obsessed with shoes, makeup, or clothes or dressing in the latest fashions.

My blog is going to transition into my story and the journey I am on. Outfits being one of them because it's something I enjoy doing, and sharing with other fellow plus sized ladies who have taken inspiration from me and have gained more self confidence through my ideas and tips. I noticed my videos on dating, and vlogging seem to get most attention just as much as my outfits do and therefore I will be writing about my dates, love life, and just about anything I feel like writing about.

For those interested, I will be blogging about Music, Life experiences, Family, Basketball (Go Lakers), and the obvious, Clothes! My blog will become the story of my life and I will try and keep it updated as much possible so I have a memoir to look back on and share with my kids if I ever have any in the future. Life is too short and sometimes it's gone before we know it. I want to leave something behind that is memorable and that my family can look back on and something my nieces and nephews can remember me by.

So...not that my blog has ever been officially focused on my outfits, but now it's official. This will be come the memoir to my life, and my journey starts today.

Fall Photography

I been feeling under the weather lately. Lots of things have been going through my mind and I dont know if its because my period is around the corner and I'm in the states of being an emotional wreck or if I'm just really stressed out. Either way, today I was browsing through Photobucket and I wanted to share some of the pictures that make me sigh, dream, and remind me why I love Fall so much :).

I hope you enjoy them as well.

It's starting to feel like Fall

In a Nutshell:

I'm Wearing:

• Black & White Scarf - Gift from Mom years ago!
• Chain - JCP
• Fuax Suede Boots
• Grey Cown Neck ShortSleeve Top
• Black Long Sleeve Ruched Back Cardigan - Design History (Ross)

Today truly felt like the beginning of fall. I was so excited. Fall to me is such an amazing season. I love the fall because of the memories it brings. Fall to me is the season that has the most impact on my childhood memories. I remember walking to school each morning and feeling the breeze pick up my hair as a little girl. I must have been 7-10 years old. I never used to do anything with my hair. I'd literally shower, and comb it and that's it. I remember hating my hair growing up. The only memory about loving my hair comes with the fall. I'd love walking to school and feeling the wind gush through my hair. I'd love to feel the wind pick it up ever so softly and blow it in the wind. It feels like it was only yesterday. 

Feeling the wind blow through my hair brings back those lovely memories of when I was just a kid in school and life was easy. I don't have many child hood memories, I blocked out a lot of them because of so many things that happened to me as a kid growing up and the constant struggles I lived through.  Some of it is a blue, and some of it is like a dream I can't remember. Sometimes I can't tell what's actually happened and what is a dream. But once again, I love the wind. And with the fall comes the cool gentle breeze without the cold of the winter. 

Here is my outfit of the day, and a my photo-shoot in the vineyards. I went all out, and some of these pictures just really captured the essence of my love for the fall. I know that sounds weird but I just know what I know lol and it's something I feel inside. I hope you enjoy!

"The winds will blow their own freshness into you,

and the storms their energy,

while cares will drop away from you

like the leaves of Autumn."

-   John Muir

"Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn."-   Elizabeth Lawrence