About Me

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Booty turned Boyfriend!?

You know the saying "men have needs?" well, women have needs too.  I've been single for almost 2 years now and have no interest in getting into a relationship.  I broke up with my ex boyfriend of 3 years in September of 09 and I've been happy ever since.  I've been in relationships most of my life, my frist boyfriend was from 14-17 1/2 my 2nd from 18 to 20 and my last from 20 to 23 and I've been good since.  I've been doing me and nothing less.

However...

Just like men have their needs, so do women.  Some women are quite promiscuous, no shame in their game, and more power to the woman who does whas she pleases, as she pleases, and with who as long as she is safe. In the end, it's that woman sleeping around, so it shouldn't affect anyone so no need for judgement.
Me on the other hand, I met this guy Tony, only a month after my breakup with Roger in October of 09.  You can learn more about that encounter here.  Ever since I met Tony, he's been a friend, a lover, and a little more.  After Tony and I hooked up for the first time, we both set our cards on the table.  Neither one wanted a relationship or the drama that came along with one. Neither one of us wanted to get emotionally attached to the other. We agreed our relationship would be nothing more than friends with benefits.

I've been hooking up with Tony for almost a year and a half and it's been great, however suddenly he flipped the tables on me and I really don't know what to make of it. 

Tony and I have had issues, sometimes he wants to see me and sometimes I just don't.   Even thogh we're friends with benefits, I still see our encounters as "sexual" only.  Tony and I do go out for walks, dinner, and a movie every now and then but I try to avoid all that to avoid emotional attachment.   I have to admit our "relationship" in the beginning was a lot better than it is today, but like any relationship I've had in the past...I begin to drift and lose interest.  Tony noticed that and he always made it a point to bring it up, but this time he came at me from left field and now I'm wondering if I've suddenly merged into an offical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

It all started a few days ago when Tony raised some concern about our "relationship" over a text message...

Tony / Me
So I feel like quite the "guy" in the relationship. You know that kinda guy that just wants to hook up and avoid the funny feelings?? yup. That's me in this "relationship" and I'm constantly put on the hot seat as if I'm just "using" the other. As if! Men. Who understands them.

Tony feels like I've changed and don't really like him or want to see him anymore. That is not the case. I've been simply consumed with work and school and I get tired! Aside from that, I don't live alone anymore and even though I'm still independant, I have my mother living with me and I owe her a lot of respect and I'd never bring a guy home while living under the same roof. I just can't do it.
He said I was the last girl he's been with since we've met (a  year and a half now) but I don't beleive. I mean...if I am or not...what's it to me? He seem's to think I'm really concerned about this.


I remind Tony that this is not a relationship and he's free to do as he pleases because I'm not his woman, his girlfriend, or anyone he owes explanations to and that's when he hits me from left field with he "wants to be" in a relationship.

I'm seriously tripping out right now.
Yes, Tony was quite the promiscuous fellow, and I don't blame him. The man's HOT and well aware of it too.  He's shared most of his sexual stories and encounters with me and I appreciate him more for being so open about his sexual life with  me. In return, I've shared mine with him.
Now about the job thing...and before you start imagining this must be some good looking loser with no job or future, you're wrong. Tony is currently working on his 2nd bachelor's degree and is quite the educated guy but like many college graduates, landing a job within your career field isn't always easy and Tony's an example. I've tried helping him find jobs, sent resume's for him, and even set up interviews for him so I know the man isn't some lazy bum.  I don't date losers with no jobs or future. I know what I want and it's not a guy who's gonna drag me down with him, expect me to support him or take care of him. No thanks. I want a man that's going to walk with me, motivate me, and move forward with me, not drag me down or hold me back and Tony knows this.
About my "negativity"...
Tony is Afghan, therefore being the oldest son, his family would prefer he marry muslim.  I'm not muslim.  Sure, who's talking about marriage right...but why get into a relationship if you know it has no future, no potential, and that it's not going anywhere? My point. exactly.
So I agreed and went against my own contradiction and said I'd be willing to try this new path our "relationship" is about to take.  I really don't feel like we're in a relationship though.  I think and feel everything is the same but our relationship has an official title now.

Tony wants us to date more and do more things that couples do together (outside the bedroom) lol so I figured I would be open minded and try it. I mean, what do I have to lose? He already got me in the sack lol

The good thing about Tony and I is we live 20 minutes apart and he understands that I work and go to school and with him working on his 2nd degree, his evenings are consumed with school work as well and therefore our contact is limited which is good because I really don't have the time for a full time boyfriend who wants to talk, text, see you 24/7.  I already enjoy his company, the sex is great (TMI I know), but I'm really still tripping on this whole bootycall turned boyfriend deal.

Ironic isn't it?

Him: "hey, hi...wanna have sex?"
Her: "hi...um, sure!"
Him"just sex, no strings attached, don't want a relationship"
Her: "great! neither do I"
Them: "Great!"

a year and a half later...

Him: "well you know, why don't we try to do something other than sex"
Her: "um...okay, sure why not?"

Who does that? lol
I guess this begins a new chapter on my life, we'll see where it goes.
To be Continued

3 comments:

Johanna said...

How exciting but let me tel you my relationship started just like booty calls and then he wanted more. Now I'm with him for tow years and its the best relationship I'v ever been in !!!!!!!!!

lc88chavez said...

Congrats on the new relationship and especially with a guy who has a college degree!! Those guys are hard to find! lol. You know what they always say though, relationships always happen when you LEAST expect it.

Thicker Than Your Average Girl said...

This was interesting to read and I can so relate hahah ! aww Mayra am glafd you have a new hunny and wish the best for you ! cant wait to here more about it my dating life has been such a crazy roller coaster but hey am enjoying the ride =]